Strategies for Reducing Wordiness

Strategies

You can eliminate wordiness in your writing if . . .

• you mark sections of your writing that you struggled to produce.
  You likely included "false starts" or filler phrases in your writing when trying to put some ideas or arguments into words; this is natural. Don't worry about it as you write, but, after you're done with your draft, pass through your paper at least once, focusing only on eliminating unnecessary language. Pay particular attention to sections you struggled to get out.
• you give yourself a breather before editing.
  Getting away from your paper will help give you the distance you'll need to see with "fresh eyes" what language is needed and what's not.
• you learn what wordiness patterns are typical of your writing.
  Most people tend to fall into two or three patterns of wordiness when they write. Learn what your patterns are, and edit with those patterns in mind.

Replacement Phrases

Peruse the following list and identify changes you can make to reduce wordiness in your writing. While it can be helpful to make these changes, be sure that the message is still clear in your writing before doing so.

• Omit the filler phrases "it is," "there is," and "there are" at the beginning of sentences; these often delay the sentence's true subject and verb.
  • Wordy
    It is expensive to upgrade computer systems.
  • Concise
    Upgrading computer systems is expensive.
• Combine two closely related short sentences by omitting part of one.
  • Wordy
    The director is concerned about problems. Typical problems may occur with lighting, sound, and props.
  • Concise
    The director is concerned about typical problems with lighting, sound, and props.
• Omit "this" from the beginning of a sentence by joining it to the preceding sentence with a comma.
  • Wordy
    Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols. This has lessened the ozone layer's depletion.
  • Concise
    Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols, lessening the ozone layer's depletion.
• Change "which" or "that" constructions to an "-ing" word.
  • Wordy
    The committee, which meets monthly, oversees accounting procedures and audits.
  • Concise
    The committee, meeting monthly, oversees accounting procedures and audits.
• Omit "which" or "that" altogether when possible.
  • Wordy
    Because the fluid, which was brown and poisonous, was dumped into the river, the company that was negligent had to shut down.
  • Concise
    Because the brown, poisonous fluid was dumped into the river, the negligent company had to shut down.
• Replace passive verbs with active verbs. In passive constructions, the subject of the sentence is being acted upon; in active constructions, the subject is the actor.
  • Wordy
    Rain forests are being destroyed by uncontrolled logging.
  • Concise
    Uncontrolled logging is destroying rain forests.
• Change "is" or "was" when they occur alone to a strong verb.
  • Wordy
    A new fire curtain is necessary for the stage.
  • Concise
    The stage needs a new fire curtain.
• Replace "is," "are," "was," "were," or "have + an -ing word" to a simple present or past tense verb.
  • Wordy
    The South African government was undergoing significant changes.
  • Concise
    The South African government underwent significant changes.
• Replace "should," "would," or "could" with strong verbs.
  • Wordy
    The environmental council could see several solutions.
  • Concise
    The environmental council saw several solutions.
• Substitute strong verbs for "-tion" and "-sion" words whenever possible.
  • Wordy
    I submitted an application for the job.
  • Concise
    I applied for the job.
• Replace prepositional phrases with one-word modifiers when possible. Prepositional phrases, those little relationship words like "of," "from," "after," etc., tend to bring in a lot of "-tion" and "-sion" words too.
  • Wordy
    The President of the Student Senate was in charge of the lobbying against the merger at the Minnesota Congress.
  • Concise
    The Student Senate President oversaw lobbying the Minnesota Congress against the merger.
• Use a colon after a statement preceding a sentence of explanation, and leave out the beginning of the next sentence
  • Wordy
    The theater has three main technical areas. These areas are costumes, scenery, and lighting.
  • Concise
    The theater has three main technical areas: costumes, scenery, and lighting.

Content copied and adapted by Peace Ossom Williamson for educational purposes from Strategies for Reducing Wordiness (http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html) by Judith Kilborn and may be copied for educational purposes only. If you copy this document, please include our copyright notice and the name of the writer; if you revise it, please add your name to the list of writers.

References

American Psychological Association. (2009a). The mechanics of style. In Publication manual of the American Psychological Association (pp. 87-124). Washington, DC:  Author.

American Psychological Association. (2009b). Writing clearly and concisely. In Publication manual of the American Psychological Association (pp. 61-86). Washington, DC:  Author.

 Last Updated: Dec 12, 2018 1:08 PM

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Full content reposted to this website by J. Dick, February 20, 2019.  To access the original content website, visit http://libguides.uta.edu/apa/style .